If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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