You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
