Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
