loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
