ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
