I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize