Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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