woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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