I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
