like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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