doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
