opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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