Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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