She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize