I wish I could punch you in the face.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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