now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
