And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Girls should come with a carfax report
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
3pm strippers are depressing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
