Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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