i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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