wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
