Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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