in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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