It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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