I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize