well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
