you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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