some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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