is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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