Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
