There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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