i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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