i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
