I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
They have beer where we have blood.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
