We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
