Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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