So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
