He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
