her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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