chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
