i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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