her vagine was all disorganized.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
