Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
