I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
