That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
