There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
