"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
