My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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