porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
