what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
