drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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