She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
