I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
