Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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