I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
