I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
