Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
