You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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