Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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