There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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