Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
