The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
