Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
