i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
splinters make it hard to masturbate
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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