I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
As shirtless as possible
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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