I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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