Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
