it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
