so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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